May 15, 2012

Things I'm Afraid To Tell You




I didn’t really want to do this post because that would mean I would actually have to think about these things and my feelings about them. Not to mention then posting it for the world to see. I wasn’t tagged to do this like most of the lovely ladies were but I felt inspired when I read Christine’s, because it sounded identical to how I feel. So here we go:

1.     I am a very shy person. This has gotten much better over the years but I am still sometimes painfully shy. I’ve tried to improve because I do feel that it holds me back sometimes. So this is a work in progress.

2.     I am extremely self-conscious. This kind of relates to the first one.  I guess you would be a bit surprised seeing how I take photos of myself and put them on the Internet for everyone to see. This is why it took me 2 years to work up the courage to start this blog.

3.     I am terrified of being a failure. I am in no way a slacker. Anyone who knows me in real life will tell you that I work hard in everything I do.  And one reason for that is my fear of failing in life and everything in general.  I know it’s all right to make mistakes in life and that’s how we learn but I still take it so hard every time. It is so difficult for me to get over a mistake I’ve made no matter how small it is.  Sometimes it takes me years to finally be ok with a mistake.

4.     I can be very sensitive. This can make things very difficult. I am constantly thinking of how other people feel right after I've said something to them. I am very aware of those around me and how they make me feel and vice versa. Can we say emotional overload? I don't even know if this is something that can be helped or changed but this is how I am. 

5.     I can be very jealous sometimes. I know this is a horrible trait and I usually catch myself and stop it but not always. I look at my friends who are successful and already where they want to be, especially those in medical school. And then think about how I’m not there yet and it’s taking me too long to get there. Don’t get me wrong I am happy for them but it can be very difficult not to let the green monster out. This one kind of goes with my third point.  

 There you have it! This was the hardest post I've ever had to do. I do hope however that this inspires you to do the same :)


Other ladies who did this also:

Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Caitlin: Sacramento Street / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Crystal: Crystal Gentilello / Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erin: Apartment 34 / Erica: Design Blahg / Victoria: Vmac + Cheese / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup  / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic / Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor's Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe:Because It's Awesome / Becca: {extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar / Alissa: The Goods Design / Jessie: Style + Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio  / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic

12 comments:

  1. what an honest thing to share. thank you! i think we are all this way sometimes, but hard to admit to others or maybe even ourselves!

    xx heidi
    life full of loves

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  2. omg! That sounds just like what I'd write for myself! Especially the fear of failing and the being sensitive part! Thanks so much for sharing! It helps to know we're not the only ones like that:)

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  3. This is a great post!

    www.taro-collection.blogspot.com

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  4. this is awesome!

    -COSMICaroline
    www.COSMICaroline.com

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  5. For a second there, I thought I was reading an entry from my journal. I am the same way too. I was extremely shy when I was a kid and I was very self conscious too, I guess this was because I was the "fat" kid. I was so shy and uncomfortable in my own skin that I just never really looked up, I avoided eye contact. It was pretty hard to get over that but over the years I've tried. The worst thing that could happen to a shy person is to have to do a little public speaking, on stage, with a microphone. Do you have that same fear too?

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  6. Aw, it’s funny how scary things like this can be to write but as a reader- it’s just fun to hear honesty. I think we all have these tendencies more than we try to let on to people. And I agree that there’s a difference between being shy and having a blog- they seem like they would correlate but sometimes it’s much easier to have a faceless audience when you post rather than real life when you’re so in the moment.
     
    I don’t get too jealous much except for people who have extensively traveled. I’m so jealous of them and I’ll tell them that to their face J It’s just so neat that they’ve been able to have those experiences!
     
    I am sensitive too a lot. I often want to write posts that joke around about my pet peeves but then I always worry- well what if someone just posted something doing what I claim to be a ‘pet peeve’ and are offended? I mean, I really actually don’t care if people do anything and would not think less of them, but for the sake of a funny post I want to do it- but I let my sensitivity get in the way because I never want to hurt people’s feelings.
     
    And the failure fear is pretty commonplace I think
     
    Thanks for sharing this other side of you! No shame at all… we all have our insecurities and it’s refreshing to hear about others’!

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  7. This sounds a lot like me too =) specially the being afraid of being a failure. Thanks for sharing this with us, I wouldn't be brave enough to do this!

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  8. Great post like it !!love that you so open to share your felling with as ^^
    following you via Gf so if you wanna we can follow each other via bloglovin " come check out my blog "
    http://fashionmadimoizelle.blogspot.com/

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  9. lovely how you are personal with your blog- really nice to see:)
    Now following your blog, hope you can visit mine sometime too xox

    sophie-mayanne.blogspot.co.uk

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  10. This blog is in every way shape and form like me. Even the fact that I get jealous about friends in medical school !! I mean, its everything I would of written and I have the same .. I guess issues as you do so it's nice to know I'm not an evil person for feeling this way.

    Anywho, Im now following your blog, Hope you can follow mine =]
    www.thisishearts.blogspot.com

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